Friday, September 23, 2011

My Secrets of Beauty and Joy( or Directions for Avoidance of the Pain of Contemporary Life


Begin each status quo awakening by infiltrating your bloodstream with sufficient enough amounts of cardboard cupped caffeinated fuel to face the assault of pornographic heinous violence and, sticky soft pop that greets your sleepy-eyed morning.

Continue to amp your metabolic racing resistance on your treadmill to submission until your self-righteousness is filled with enough zeal to eradicate dissatisfaction, pity or creativity.

In the case of continued tingling emotional empathy or stirring original thought, add 10 or more milligrams of preferred Watson or Phizer product , (Prozac, Xanax, Adderall) or read mind-numbing morning meditations and/or your choice of Religious dogma until necessary apathy is achieved.

With take-out plastic topped Starbucks in hand and blue-toothed insulation in-ear, settle into your leather seat-belted-carbon-emitting shiny American/Japanese SUV. Accelerate to 70 mph to enabling passage through abject poverty and repulsive homelessness that remain only vaguely visable in the moving background. Do not for any reason slow down or disengage consumption of beverage or talk radio.

Chat, twitter and text along with the bombardment of noisy static designed to protect you from any terrifying revelations of silence . Sing your favorite Walmart, MacDonalds or other corporate jingle to create a comfortable zombie-like semi-consciousness.


Hold fast to a local events calendar to enable  escape planning, purchase as much as possible to ensure fulfillment of your American rights and duties and X off the passing days towards anticipated holidays, parties,festivals, games and other events. Stay as busy and engaged as possible to avoid possible long droughts of desperation or famines of fear.  Drink large amounts of numbing alcohol and seek psychotronic medication if necessary. Other suggestions for snapping yourself out of threatening self reflection include; purchasing season tickets for the home team game hysteria ,a great way to express your frustration, or joining The Club to re-assure your position of righteousness and satisfy the need for belonging.

If neither the game nor the club re-ignites your Patriotic and Righteous unconsciousness, go quickly and often to the nearest mall. There you will surely find comfort in the washed out musac while losing unwanted pieces of nagging soul. After you have consumed copious amounts of food products from the Mall Court and maxed out your newest credit extension return to your suburban domicile and quickly turn on your Mega sized HDTV to your favorite show already in progress and ready to bring you back to "reality".

Never, I repeat, never,  allow enough solitude, self-analysis or empty air time for original thoughts that may disturb your precarious balance of sanity and pretension with doubts of the realness of your existence and certainty that each breath brings you closer to oblivion.

Always be aware the waiting ambush that no amount of boy-scout, teacher-organized, five-year planned preparation can prevent, when a piercing pain, indistiguishable from pleasure, attacks you in an unprotected moment with a sudden vision of  shining and unexpected beauty so glorious it may shatter your construct of power and purpose.

With trepidition and caution, bravely go forth knowing there is not medicine, religion or therapy sufficient to arm you from surprising and overwhelming moments of ecstatic joy so engulfing as to reveal a possibility of another reality, unknown dimension, or positive mental state of enlightenment.

To these ends I endure my life.

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